i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize