So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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