pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
