There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
