no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize