it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
