your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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