this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There r osticjed everywhere
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
