You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
