The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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