I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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