I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
