Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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