I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I love you. Go after that dick
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
