You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The struggles of a small town man whore
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
