You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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