I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My liver is preforming stress tests.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize