i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
