hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
