I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
