I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
