I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
