I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
