I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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