i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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