Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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