Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
