these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize