I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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