I want to walk on stilts...naked
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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