So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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