Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
