Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My nipple is on Facebook.
I puked a lego.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
