No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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