my mouth tastes like poor choices
wat bout pragnant strippers??
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
