She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
