which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
