i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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