my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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