I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
