Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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