Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
