Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
