he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
