you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
