there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
