If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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