I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my shit smells like andre
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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