she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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