my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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