Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
