How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
