Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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