Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
