Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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