This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
