I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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