Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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