Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
