He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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