You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize