end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
