I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
