Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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