i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
