she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
