i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
