I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
