what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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