It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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