dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize