Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
