She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
