Are we in a gay sports bar?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
