College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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