You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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