i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
